God, I’m humbled to be able to even think
Much less speak
Of Your presence
O how my heart rejoices
When I open my mind,
When I open my heart,
When I open the depths of my being,
And orient them to Your presence,
When Your presence becomes the subject
And predicate
Of the sentences of my soul,
Nothing excites me more.
How I yearn for insight
Regarding Your wants and desires.
How I long to know of them
So that I might please You.
Bless You O God
For endowing Your creation with the ability
To even think about
Your presence.
Remove Me
Holy God, 3-in-1,
All-in-all,
Blessed Trinity,
Triune One,
I love You but
Despise when You are boiled down
To simple equations.
As if, Lord,
As if…
It’s as easy as 1-2-3
Or even 1-in-3,
As if prayer is:
I ask + I have faith = I get.
Lord, I get so fed up with
This mentality.
Prayer isn’t,
Never has been,
Never will be,
Was never intended to be,
About me,
For me,
Concerning me,
Etc.
Prayer has been
And always will be,
Bigger than me
And thank you, Lord,
That this is the case.
I know this because,
It was before me and
Will be after me.
It stands outside me
Which means that
I am not its focus…
But that You
The true "I Am",
You are!
Your wants and
Your desires
Are what prayer is about.
And so, Lord,
My prayer life has
Begun to become more pure
As I’ve started to totally
Eradicate
Words like:
“I”
“Me”
And
“Myself”
From the subject line.
I shall ask about You,
Your wants and desires
And
I shall ask for
Your Presence
To be around me
And in me
And that’s it Lord.
It is to know You
And I feel privileged
To know this O God,
Indeed,
I feel privileged
To not have a theology
Of prayer that
Torments my soul
And leaves You
Standing in the corner as a coward.
No, You are a God with a mighty presence,
And I know that when I’ve totally
Removed myself from the equation,
You become even mightier in my life.
And that sort of math,
Well, that’s the sort of math
I want to be good at!
Spirit, may You add Yourself to this soul
So that You may increase and I decrease!
For a while Lord, my prayer wall has been inactive
And the weight of your presence that I had began to feel so often
Has become seemingly weightless
The only things that are heavy at this point are the pit of my stomach
And my heart
I am ecclesiastically heart-wrought
My emotions are like a dry riverbed
I have pastored but not been pastored to
I have befriended but not received deep befriending
I have invested but have either not been invested in or have been uninvested in
I yearn for trust but seem to find betrayal at every corner
Holy Spirit, I long for You to fall freshly and quickly upon me
I pray for Your anointed presence in my life
And I pray for the vacant areas of my soul to be replenished by You
In Your vastness and gloriousness, may You just show up
May you show up with and as a friend
And bring the type of friendship I am void of
May you show up with relationship
And settle my burdened soul
May you show up quickly now
Come, Holy Spirit and move
Knock so that I can answer
I’m ready
